Illusionary Page 4

  Jade half smirked and huffed out a laugh as she took up my grass murdering distraction, allowing the redirect. "What was he doing this time?"

  "Giving a beast a bath." I waggled my eyebrows. "He was all wet, too, seemed like the horse wasn't too keen to have its face washed."

  Jade's eyes lit with interest and she leaned toward me, eager to hear more. Her internal voice let me know she really wished she could go to the barn with me. "Could you see through his shirt?"

  I chuckled. "No. He was wearing a dark color." I could tell he was built though. And the way his hair dripped and his face glistened–

  Jade laughed and threw a handful of grass at me. "I don't need to feel that!"

  Heat crawled up my neck at her playful reprimand. "Ugh, I know why people don't like being around me, can't keep anything to myself," I muttered. "I talked to him." I blushed and fiddled with more blades of grass. Jade knew that in all the time I’d been visiting the barn and had seen Holden, we had never actually met.

  My phone chose that moment to begin its double beep alarm, letting me know I had five minutes before Dr. Parmore would throw a hissy fit if I wasn’t back for her to throw needless tasks my way.

  I pushed to stand, tray in hand, and walked to throw it away on my path to my designated holding pen. Jade waved goodbye and headed toward her own room across the quad as I cut across opposite, climbing the steps that would take me inside.

  I needed to find my calling, though not being recruited made that harder. No one trusted a telepath.

  I entered the lecture hall and took a seat behind the lectern, so I was close enough to be on call should the instructor need me. The room began to fill though seats in the back never were. There weren't enough students for that, and the instructor's voice didn't carry. Truthfully, I had no idea why these halls were used. Most rooms had more than enough space for each class. I think it made the professors feel more important if they used them.

  Sages were not a prolific race. Being that our bodies were not free of maladies, reproduction was often difficult. For the Sage women who were able to conceive, pregnancy was hard. Our bodies did not accept the extra weight and needs without consequence. Add to that the fact that infant mortality was high, and you got an idea as to why Sage Enhanced numbers did not rival that of either Primals or NEs.

  I looked at my phone again and blew out a breath. Fifty-seven minutes to go.

  This particular class had Tori, my old boyfriend’s new girlfriend. Needless to say, she didn't like me, which I found totally acceptable because the feeling was more than mutual. She was, however, a gifted telekinetic, which allowed her to continually make me want to scream her secrets to the world.

  Tori would use this time to both annoy and humiliate me. She was successful in constantly sending my pencil off my desk, and when I went to pick it up, she would move my desk and chair. She tried suspending it in the air, out of reach, but the professor called on her, making her realize it took too much concentration and caused her to lose favor. Totally unacceptable. Now, was the instructor put off with her childish behavior toward me? No, I wasn’t favored enough to be respected. That didn’t seem to change with the departure from being in classes.

  When I was physically in the room with Dr. Parmore on these occasions, I couldn’t get fully lost in my melodic therapy, only able to insert one earbud. After all, I was supposed to be at the professor’s beck and call and it didn’t bode well if I couldn’t hear such calls.

  So, like I said, I wanted to out her. I didn't though, mainly because she learned to do her version of a mental shield. She hummed in her head. She had no talent in the humming department. I could never decode what she was supposed to be reciting. It just sounded like gibberish.

  I listened to music all the time and I didn't discriminate in genre, so I tended to at least recognize what I heard. Not with Tori's humming. Not possible, which again made me think it was just randomness. The upside to this would sometimes come when the instructor would call on her to answer, and she had been expending so much energy and thought on her atrocious way of keeping things from me that she couldn’t answer correctly. At least not initially, Tori was like other Sage in that she was brilliant in many areas. I can't catch a break.

  I looked at my phone again and groaned. Still another thirty-five minutes. As I closed my eyes and leaned toward the wall behind me, my pen chose to escape to the floor. Freaking Tori.

  Thirty-four minutes.

  I headed to the barn the moment Dr. Parmore released me from captivity. Saying that I was more than a little disappointed that my school involvement hadn’t ended weeks ago, would be like stating that the ocean was deep—about the biggest understatement you could make.

  I likened my learning career to skipping blindfolded across Main Street at peak hours. There was no way to walk away unscathed. It was what would happen after graduation where things got a bit fuzzy.

  I would not be furthering my education, unlike most Sages my age. I was unlikely to land any of the occupations normally sought by those of higher intelligence, such as doctors, lawyers, engineers, and a myriad of others. I certainly couldn't teach. All those positions would be unbearable with my telepathic abilities. Couple that with the remaining schooling and there was just no way. Truth be told, I had wanted to experience something physical after I graduated. Not that I was being sought.

  As I rounded the corner leading to the front gate of the barn, Holden came into view. He was in the enclosed area atop a beautiful black horse named Raven, if I remembered correctly. They were walking, Holden looked to be barely holding the reins, yet he didn't look worried and Raven seemed to still be obeying him. Crazy!

  I was mesmerized.

  I wanted that. I wanted to be the one sitting astride a thousand pound animal secure in my ability to control the situation. I was sure many Sages also had this wish. Control was a big thing to them. I was also sure none of them would act on it. The danger to their person was too great, and most were too analytical to disregard that fact, which meant I had to decide just how badly I wanted it.

  Did I want to give people another reason to think I was different? Did I want to give people an idea that I might not be as breakable as I seem? Would it really be so bad if it were found out? Would I really be targeted? I couldn't fathom how it could end well if I were envied on all fronts, which made me want to keep my secret shoved down deep, away from the smallest tendrils of inquiring light.

  Buried. Hidden. Locked in the deep recesses of myself that no one else saw.

  Suddenly a masculine hand waved in front of my face, meaning I had zoned out. I blinked a couple of times and saw that Holden had stopped Raven in front of me. I was staring at his jean clad leg, the fabric clinging tightly to the flesh beneath.

  Holden was all hard muscle and lean lines covered in clothing that molded to his body like a glove. I bet there was no fat on his body to speak of, and not in the stick thin Sage way, more like honed. After lingering at his shoulders, which were as broad as the horse he sat astride, I jerked my attention to his face, heat rushing my cheeks. He wore a half smile, which seemed more shy than smug, as he allowed my perusal without interference.

  Never had anyone look at me like that, he said through our mental link.

  "I don't believe that," I blurted before I thought better of it, the bright flush returning to my cheeks. Geez, Nathalee, the guy doesn't need you gushing over him. Get it in check, Dae! I cleared my throat and tried again. "I'm sure you've been admired before, Holden."

  It was his turn to blush. He ducked his head and ran a hand through Raven's mane, his other still holding the straps lightly. People don't see me. They definitely don't take the time to get a good look, especially once they realize I'm defective. His voice seemed a little sad and matched the tightness around his eyes as he looked at me. For a moment, there was vulnerability in their stormy depths, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by indifference.

  People's disregard hurt him, but he refused to s
how it. I felt for him, though my own disregard was for the opposite reason. People knew what I could do, and it scared them, so they went out of their way to avoid me. I understood Holden's pain, as well as his shield of apathy, though our situations were not the same, the outcome was. Both of us lingered on the outskirts, on the fringe.

  Outsiders.

  In that, we were the same. It didn't matter that he was Primal and I Sage, we both knew the pain of loneliness. I refused to wallow in self-pity and I could tell Holden felt the same. Another reason to come by the barn after school. Holden needed someone to see him, let alone hear him.

  "How are you able to control him when you barely have hold of the reins?" It seemed I was just spewing randomness in Holden's direction today. I shook my head and kicked at the grass beneath my feet to avoid his penetrating stare.

  Raven's very responsive. He works and listens very well to my body as a whole. Again, he pulled his hand down through the horse's coarse mane.

  "What do you mean?" I had seen horses ridden before, but to me it seemed the straps were the best means of control.

  A horse can be taught to pay attention to any number of indicators that his rider provides for instruction. He clasped his hands over the straps again and laid them at the base of Raven's neck, in front of the saddle. For instance, I use my left leg to tell him to move right. He then proceeded to nudge Raven's side with his left foot. The horse took a step to the right and Holden stopped the pressure.

  I was fascinated, wanted to know more, wanted to participate.

  I must have looked like a kid waking up with the roosters on Christmas morning. I was bouncing on my toes, my hands gripping the fence between us, a huge smile and wide eyes lit my face.

  He laughed.

  I loved that sound, loved that I was the only one to hear it. "Tell me more."

  He laughed again.

  Now, he was smiling like a fool, as well, though he reined in his mirth as he continued. Weight can give direction in a number of ways, he intoned. If I lean left, he will move so his body is back under my weight. Again, he demonstrated leaning left which was toward me and the fence, Raven stepped to the left. Holden nudged Raven into a walk then demonstrated how sitting back in the saddle, toward Raven's rear, would make him stop.

  As things progress, we begin to combine cues. Give the horse a more complicated set of instructions to follow. He brought Raven around to the fence, this time his right side closest. I watched as he kicked his right foot out of the stirrup and leaned to the left. He braced his hands on the front and rear of the saddle and dropped to the ground, landing lightly on his feet in the deeper dirt of the riding area, making a puff of a dust cloud around his legs and up under Raven’s belly.

  "Will you teach me?" Gasping, I covered my mouth with my hands. Geez, I just could not shut up today. "I'm sorry, forget I asked."

  Holden looked confused. His inner voice seemed at a loss for a moment as well. You want to learn how to ride a horse? Like, you want to get up there? He pointed at Raven. You're Sage. Won't that be too dangerous? He wore a perplexed expression as he asked this, his brows drawn together making little creases between them, his mouth turned down in a slight frown.

  I bristled. I was no wilting flower. I wasn't deterred by the fact I could be hurt, that the animal was massive with a mind of its own. I stood straighter and squared my shoulders. I heard his continued confusion and narrowed my eyes at him.

  I wanted to convey my outrage. He thought I couldn't do it. I tuned into his mental dialogue and deflated a bit. He wasn't looking down on me. He knew Sages tended to be fragile and didn't want to be responsible for an injury that could arise.

  "You are not responsible for me. If I choose to pursue this, I will do so at my own risk." Then I thought about the fact that not all horses were created equal and amended my statement. "As long as you do your utmost to ensure my safety." I threw out a hand to halt his response. "I'm aware there is an inherent risk in this endeavor. All I ask of you is to do your best to minimize said risk."

  I nodded then as I crossed my arms, satisfied with this thought. I could do this. Within reason, I could learn to do this. I held out my right hand toward Holden, and looked him in the eye, trying to convey to him the security in my decision.

  His vibrant gaze was assessing, bouncing back and forth between my eyes like a table tennis match, searching for the conviction my words conveyed. He found it.

  Reaching out, he clasped my hand. His was work roughened with many calluses along the base of his fingers and so different from my own, from many Sages. I will do all in my power to make sure you are safe, Nathalee. Then he turned toward the barn, pulling Raven along behind him. See you tomorrow, he said just before he was too far for my ability to pick up. He didn’t look back.

  I blew out the breath I seemed to be holding and slumped a bit. How did I let this happen? How was I going to explain it? What would happen if anyone found out? Would it really be so bad? All my confidence from mere moments ago was quickly fading, leaving in its place an acute case of anxiety.

  I turned on my heel and hurried away from the barn. Hurried away from Holden, from the horses, from temptation. I never wanted to get closer to anyone, especially not a male. Guys were usually way more into themselves than I wanted to endure.

  Tomorrow, I would begin learning to ride horses, and I would be taught by a Primal. Who would have thought? Anticipation trickled through my veins as I reached home. How did I tell my parents? Did I tell them? Maybe a good night’s sleep would bring light to the situation.

  CHAPTER 5

  I WOKE THE NEXT morning having solved nothing of my internal struggle, other than reinforcing my conviction to learn from Holden. I was too intrigued to forego this opportunity, both to learn something I thought to forever be barred from, and learning under the tutelage of someone like Holden. It was too tempting.

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and began the horrible task of getting out of bed at six a.m. Ugh, work. Who needs it? Well, in fact, I did. I'd probably be doing mundane clerical work or something similar for like…ever.

  The world was a new animal since the Enhanced emerged. The powers that be worldwide came up with the system currently in place, which was basically like an internship. Work for housing and get a stipend for food stuffs and other necessities.

  Extras or "upgrades" such as handmade items or technology were bartered with either goods or services, unless you were the fortunate few who were somehow put to use by the ninnies on the outside at one time or another. I was not, in fact, in one of those lucky families, though, my father was often consulted by the town council. I rolled out of bed and settled myself to the idea of heading back to the campus.

  Being that I was not a brilliant Sage but a mediocre one, my job was that as well. I was a "teaching assistant" for Dr. Parmore at the campus. “Teaching assistant” was polite for the truth; I was her grunt. I was tasked with pulling together the materials she wanted in class and inputting all data into both her computer and the campus system. It was boring, tedious work, but it allowed me to be antisocial and keep a clear head throughout the day. As a bonus, I could put in earbuds and get lost in my music, so score!

  Dr. Parmore was a biologist who specialized in genomes, so her students were all in various stages of their studies in becoming a wide range of medical professionals. They were almost all Sage Enhanced. Their ages ranged from sixteen to early twenties, depending on how involved their profession would be and how far into that curriculum the student was.

  Most Sages completed schooling by eighteen, though a good portion of the curriculum followed classes which others didn't see until elected education. If further education was needed, they were shuttled into specialized schooling which could be coupled with their learning job, like a true internship.

  Many had gifts which would aid in the workplace in some form. Telekinetics could do a wide range of things depending on how strong their gift was. Empaths went into medical fields. Charmers tended
toward public figures and law. Eidetic leaned toward sciences and engineering. The question was what did telepaths do?

  As of right now, they gathered materials and entered data. Fist pump.

  "Nathalee, will you please follow me to my office?" I stopped amassing my things from the desktop and looked up sharply upon hearing the professor address me.

  This can't be good.

  I nodded hesitantly. After quickly putting my things in my bag, I zipped it up and flung it over my head and across my body. Holding the nylon strap in a death grip, I trudged toward the lectern at which Dr. Parmore stood with her notes pressed against her chest. Her tortoise shell glasses rested low on her nose as she had both hands occupied with papers and was unable to right them. She stood stoic, no indication as to what this visit would be about. Maybe I was a bit testy in my latest correspondence on her behalf…

  As I approached, Dr. Parmore turned abruptly and began the short journey to her office. We walked in silence, the only overt sound being our shoes squeaking on the linoleum flooring, especially when we turned down the adjacent hall. I really hated that sound. Squeak, squeak, squeak.

  I'm not sure what he would want with her, she's Sage. Surely she cannot aid him.

  The woman’s thought brought my attention sharply from my own irritation back to her. "Who?" I asked, interest piqued.

  "Hmm?" My boss was still lost in her contemplation of my impending introduction as she turned her head toward me slightly. Her muddy brown eyes flicked to mine briefly before she looked ahead again, dismissing my question.

  We stopped in front of Dr. Parmore’s office. It boasted a heavy door, solid wood with a placard reading the doctor's name. I decided to ask again. "Doctor—"

  She fiddled, searching her pockets for keys. Her answer did not come verbally. Commander James here for her, why? Clearly, Dr. Parmore was not the one calling this meeting and was just as baffled as I was. At least she knew who I would be speaking with, making her more knowledgeable about the situation than I. All I picked up from inside the room was a masculine mental list. Observations of the office.